Are you between relationships? Have you been trying to recover from a broken heart?  Are you not ready to open yourself and have a serious relationship? That’s totally okay. Everything can change for you if you could re-direct your focus and energy. If you could understand yourself, the way you think, your beliefs, your needs and feelings.

Let me tell you the truth, being outside of relationships can be incredibly healthy. 

I encourage every single person to cope with this Valentine’s Day in a healthy way. Firstly remember these: No Valentine’s Day is the last one.  February 14 is just a day. I wish I could convince you to believe that taking time alone before looking for a new relationship is giving you many opportunities. There is a great value to be single and this time use  in a positive way.

Think bout your last relationship that ended in emotional pain. Take a note of what went wrong. Don’t focus on the partner, think about yourself, what you brought into the relationship, what beneficially worked with that partner, and what didn’t work for you.  What mistakes can you recognize?

Consider your feelings and needs. Think about what both sides brought into that relationship. Write the notes and reflect positive and negative aspects. Try to see a correlation between your feelings and what had been brought by both parties. Can you sense a match between expectations and feelings? What did you learn from that relationship?

Then focus on your current needs and feelings. Focus on your overall goals and expectations. When you have trouble identifying your goals, feelings, meanings, what you want and don’t want in your life, hardly you can point out how a relationship could bring fulfillment.

Many people jump into relationships without knowing themselves well. They might focus on starting a new relationship, yet not having sufficient self-knowledge. They search for partners in similar manners as before. They bring the same habits and personal issues into a new relationship. They might be hoping that with a new partner everything will work. Mostly this doesn’t happen. They end in a vicious cycle of having and ending relationships not too much dissimilar from each other.

It’s time to move on. Look at relationships through the prism of your feelings and goals.

Set the goals you will work on. 

Focusing on self-development and self-knowledge is what will result in a relationship unlike those before. Whatever strange it may sound it works wonders. With self-improvement people advance. They develop new priorities and needs, offer the new feelings and things different than before. Most importantly they search for like-minded company. Positive thinking bring positive experience. A process of self-development between relationships is very important, especially people who were brought up in dysfunctional or toxic relationships. People who were neglected in childhood unconsciously choose partners who neglect them, despite they might think they never do it.

Personal improvement focused on lasting skills and strengthening the mind helps make new choices and different decisions. Through emotional self-awareness people can better identify what would bring them happiness and what kind of partners they need. Clarifying personal needs helps move towards what they really want.  They may understand whether they could be happier on their own.

Focus on yourself: Your feelings and needs are priorities.

Your time alone is a great opportunity to attend to your feelings and needs. Perhaps, this is the time to receive what you haven’t been given: self-kindness, self-acceptance and self-love. You might have a perfect time to better understand your internal world, your mind and feelings. If your previous relationships hurt your self-esteem this might be the best time to work on it and fill the gaps without a partner.

To learn more about hot to build self-knowledge to attract what you really want see my books and audios