When I Feel Angry

The story

Sometimes I feel angry.

All people feel angry at one time or another.

When I get angry I will find my teacher, Mommy, Daddy or another adult.

When I find them I will try to use words to tell them that I am angry.

I can say “I’m angry!” or “That makes me mad!”

It is okay to use words when I feel angry.

They will talk to me about what happened and about how I feel.

This might help me to feel better.

Wherever I am I can try to find someone to talk to about how I feel.

When Other Children Get Upset

The story

Sometimes other children get upset and cry.

When this happens their teacher or babysitter might try to help them.

The teacher or babysitter might try to help them by talking to them or holding them.

This is okay.

Sometimes when other children get upset and cry, it makes me upset and angry.

I can use words to tell my teacher or babysitter that I am upset.

I can say, “That makes me mad!” or “I’m upset!”

It is okay to use words about how I feel.

When I get upset I will try to use words about how I feel.

Circle Time

Background

This is a social story I use to help some children who were having a hard time at group time. It was used with 4, 5, and 6 year olds and worked very well. Let me know if it’s useful. I wrote each page out on yellow paper with black marker and drew stick figure pictures (very simple) for a visual.

The story

It is circle time.

When it is time for circle, I go sit in a blue chair.

I sit with my feet on the floor and my hands to myself.

It doesn’t matter who I sit next to. I will shake their hand and say good morning.

I help Mrs. G. at circle by listening…

Waiting my turn…

And sitting like a big kid in my chair.

I don’t get angry when I don’t get a turn because I will get a turn another day.

When circle is over, I wait until Mrs. G. tells me where to go.

I did great at circle today!

My Grade

[ by Michele Gardner ]

The story

I go to __________ grade almost every day.

My __________ grade teacher’s name is __________.

There are a lot of kids in my class.

We do a lot of things like handwriting, math games, centers and shared reading.

Sometimes my teacher, __________, needs to tell the whole class something.

She gets our attention by clapping her hands.

When I hear clapping, I’m supposed to clap too.

Then I’m supposed to listen to __________.

All of the kids do this.

It is okay to do this.

When I hear clapping I will try to clap too.

I will try to listen to __________.

Then I will know what to do next.

__________ will be happy when I clap and listen.

Recess

[ by Michele Gardner ]

The story

After lunch we go to recess.

Sometimes recess is on the playground.

A lot of the children play on the playground equipment.

It is fun to play on the playground equipment.

Everyone should play safely.

When the whistle blows that means it is time to line up and go inside.

I will try to line up as soon as the whistle blows.

This will make my teachers happy.

After I line up I will try to stay in line.

Everyone will be proud of me!

My Teacher Talks to Many People

[ by Michele Gardner ]

The story

My teacher talks a lot.

Sometimes she talks to me.

She gives me directions and helps me with my work.

Sometimes she talks to other people.

She might talk to other children about their work.

She might talk to another adult.

It is okay when she talks to other people.

When my teacher talks to other people I can keep working or playing.

This will make my teacher happy.

I will try to keep working or playing when my teacher talks to other people.

“The Fortress”:  Often follows “Wildcard.”  Clients are encouraged to explore how feelings shift and change from one to another.  Exploratory questions about the sequence and interconnection of feelings are asked.  As the conversation unfolds, the cards are laid out in a configuration that matches approximately how they unfold inside the client.  Various patterns emerge.
Example:  Client picks “Sad” card.  Counsellor asks triadic, contextual questions about community (friends/family) to generate domino visual.  Dad feels “Disgust” and mom feels “Worry” when client feels sad.  When mom notices dad’s disgust, she feels “Angry” and Dad feels “Rage.”  Client feels “Anxious,” “Guilty,” “Worry” about this pattern.  After visual is created and discussed, discuss “windows” and “back doors” out of these patterns.  How does dad get from “Rage” to “Content?”  Chart the progression.  What is the domino effect with mom, client?
Skills – all emotional skills used (unsure how effective at delay or control impulse (*) – opens awareness on topic).  Self-talk, recognizing influences on feelings/behaviour, starting to use steps for problem-solving ie. Identify actions and consequences from feeling/behaviour connection.  Verbal skills developed.

“Charades”:  Used in individual and group.  Individual and group:  primarily used to model and practise effective expression and cueing of emotions.  Client picks a feeling and copies the face and a non-verbal behaviour (behaviour optional).  Counsellor has to guess the emotion.  Group variation:  One client copies face/behaviour and the rest of the family pick a card each that reflects the feeling(s) that face/behaviour evoked.  Guess the emotion and discussion of responses follow.

“Go Fish”:  All 42 cards are shuffled.  Each player is dealt five cards.  Any pairs (ie. two  “angry” cards) are placed in front of the player.  Players take turns asking, for example, “Do you have ‘happy’?”  If player #2 does not, he says, “Go fish.”  Player #1 then picks one card up from the deck and checks his hand to see if he got a pair.  The object of the game is run out of cards in your hand before the other player.  If the deck runs out before this occurs, players count up the number of pairs and the player with the most pairs wins.
Skills – develop awareness of various emotions, emotional vocabulary, sight recognition of feelings (precursor to identifying, labeling, and expressing feelings), icebreaker.

“Memory”:  All 42 cards are shuffled and placed face down on large surface; or, clients can choose to play with half the deck or less (have clients choose the cards), as long as all the cards have a pair.  Player #1 picks up a random card, looks at the face (without the other player seeing the face) and places it back down in the same spot.  The object of the game is to remember where the faces are and find the matches.  Player with the most number of pairs at the end wins.
Skills – same as “Go Fish” skills.  Used as an introduction to the feeling cards, as a relationship builder, and to build patience, concentration, and memory.

“Poker”:  Exercise for couple or family counselling. Female and male feeling cards are separated and laid out on large surface.  Each client is asked to come individually and pick feeling faces that represent answers to a number of triadic questions related to the presenting issue.  Clients hold their deck of cards until everyone has finished.  Then everyone lays down their cards together.  Discussion about patterns of responses and levels of accuracy with regards to other-awareness questions open systemic awareness and ideas about the gaps in understanding and possible bridges.
Example:  Which face represents how you feel about this situation? Which face represents mom?  Which face would mom pick for you?  Which face does mom think you would pick for her?  Levels of self and other awareness are revealed and a forum for correcting assumptions and developing empathy and humility is created.  The foundation and rationale for communication skills is established.
Skills – emotional, cognitive, and behavioural skills are targeted.  Verbal and non-verbal behavioural skills are emphasized at and beyond this point.

“Puppets”:  Builds on Dominos and Poker.  This is also an expansion/improvement on the design and use of the feeling faces.  Instead of cards being flat on a surface, “sticks” are attached to the back of the card to enable the faces to “interact.”  In this way, emotions are still externalized (for comfort), but there is more symbolic and physical ownership (and sometimes confrontation) when feeling cards are literally “facing” one another.  Verbal (and even non-verbal posturing) communication spontaneously occurs and issues can be verbally worked through on an emotional level while keeping “egos” at a distance.  With individual clients, puppets can be a way for them to “face” and talk to different parts of themselves.

“Role Play and Rehearsal”:  This builds on, and often naturally unfolds from, “Puppets.”  For individual clients, it can be a way for them to “face” their friends, family, teachers and practice managing their emotions and responses to the others’ emotions.  It is a way for role play and rehearsal to occur without the client feeling like they are performing because it is occurring between faces the client is manipulating.  For groups, it is a non-threatening way to confront, challenge, and express on an emotional level.  It can bring humour in tense moments as well.

“Packing & Unpacking”:  This is primarily for group counseling.  All the cards should be laid out on the floor or a table with the group sitting in a circle around them.  Each member of the group speaks uninterrupted regarding the presenting issue.  While each group member shares, the other members are attuned to their emotional process in-the- moment and picking up the cards that reflect those feelings (packing).  When it is the next person’s turn to share, they “unpack” the feeling cards they collected by describing the process they experienced.  Members can unpack right away before sharing their perspective on the presenting issue, throughout their sharing time, or choose only to unpack.

Play games involving synonyms
For instance, “Can you think of another word that means big?” “Can you tell me another word for smart?”

Play word-association games
For example: “pilot goes with…”(plane), “cab goes with…”(driver), “ship goes with…”(sailor)

Devise simple games involving similarities
For example, “What is the same about a sheep and a cow?” “A train and a plane are both…”

Play games involving antonyms
Do this as a sentence completion (cloze) activity (e.g., “The opposite of hot is …”) or use a question-and-answer format (e.g., “What is the opposite of hot?”), or as a confrontation naming task using pictures in which the child has to name “opposites pictures” as rapidly as they can (e.g., hot cold, wet dry, big little, fast slow, deep shallow, apart together).

You can have a lot of fun doing this at sentence level:

Adult: I live in a little house.
Child: I live in a big house.
Adult: I love cauliflower.
Child: I hate cauliflower.
Adult: I broke the ladder.
Child: I mended the ladder.
Adult: My car is old.
Child: My car is new.

Play word games involving differences
For example, “What is different about a bird and a plane? They can both fly, but they are different because …”

Play “What comes next?”
For example:
Monday Tuesday Wednesday …
Summer Autumn Winter …1 2 3 …
First second third …